just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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