Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
