wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
