Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
