Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
