you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
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