sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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