is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
