her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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