So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
