Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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