Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize