Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
