you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
