I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
