I cockslap morals
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
