I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
