they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
