9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize