Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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