If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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