Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
