Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize