Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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