Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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