four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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