I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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