So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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