So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
