nut hugger
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
