His hands were made for my vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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