he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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