sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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