I just pynch a tree in the face
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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