Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
