Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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