I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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