you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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