I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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