No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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