You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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