careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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