Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
