For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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