I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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