Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
