bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
