i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize