I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Randomize
