I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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