For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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