Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
