She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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