Im at strip club and am horny
Buhtt sex?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I supernannyed him into submission
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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