My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
