We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
