That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
