I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
