This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
