Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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